what is it with people and chain letters?!?

i don't mean chain letters in general. i mean chain letters on YM. so technically, they're chain instant messages.

seriously. why do people actually bother with them? the spam from weird unknown people selling me viagra is enough. why do some people take time to send a message that is quite obviously not true (especially those that could kill your mom or something. or those that give you a new type of ym which shows you who's invi and who's not.)?? i'd say they're doing it on purpose so that when i sign in to ym, my computer will lag and that speech bubble will come up saying "Windows Virtual Memory Too Low".

yes. that must be it.

it's a CONSPIRACY!

so is teachers giving you exams and deadlines for different subjects all on the same day. you probably think it's all a coincidence, but the truth is, every night they congregate in this top secret meeting room and plan about which student to torture. for example, here's what they could be talking about one night...

Evil Dean/President: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We will now commence this meeting to talk about our torture plans for next Monday. Would anybody like to volunteer to start?

Some Random Math Professor: (raises hand)

ED/P: Yes, Mr. X, please come up.

SRMP: Thank you. (goes up to the stage, bringing his laptop, then proceeding to project a powerpoint presentation on the huge screen behind him) Tomorrow I'm giving my Math 19 classes a long exam about double integrals. You have in front of you (presses a key on his laptop. the powerpoint presentation shows a long list of names) the list of students in my classes who will be taking the Math exam.

ED/P: If anybody recognizes one of the students as their own, please tell us.

Sounds of shuffled class records and typing fingers fill the room.

Some Random English Teacher: (raises her hand) I have Ms. Charmaine Aibes Chong in my class.

ED/P: Excellent. Will you be able to place a deadline or an exam on that date?

SRET: (frowns as she types some more into her laptop) Well, yes. I can move the deadline for the research paper to that date.

Some Random NatSci Teacher: (raises his hand)

ED/P: (to SRET) Good, Ms. Y, do that. (to SRNST) Yes?

SRNST: I also have Ms. Chong in my class, and I'll be able to assign her to report about birth control on that date.

ED/P: Good, good. Any more?

Some Random Lit Teacher: I have some bad news though, I'm giving a free cut to her class on that date because I have to watch the Oscars- AHEM! I mean, I have another engagement elsewhere.

ED/P: WHAT? That cannot be! What time is that class? I'll assign a substitute teacher at once!

SRLT: Well, it's from 2:30 - 3:30 pm...

ED/P: Are any teachers available? Never mind if you're not from the English Department, as long as you're a teacher and you're free.

Some Evil Teacher Who Thinks Torturing Students Is His Life's Purpose: (raises his hand) I can substitute him, sir.

ED/P: Good, Mr. Z, you shall substitute for Mr. W's class. In that case, let's wrap up this meeting. Ms. Charmaine Aibes Chong will be having a Math exam, an English research paper due, and a NatSci report on Monday. Perfect. Well then, teachers, we shall meet again tomorrow, please don't forget. You are now dismissed.

Meanwhile...

Charmaine Aibes Chong: (sneezes) Geez. What's the matter with me? I've been sneezing nonstop since an hour ago.

(Cellphone rings)

CAC: (picks up cellphone) What? The English research paper is due on Monday? But I have a Math exam on that day!!!

(Somebody IMs her)

CAC: (reads message) What? My NatSci report has been moved to Monday too? At least I have a free cut for--

(E-mail from someone)

CAC: (opens inbox and reads mail) WHAT? The free cut has been cancelled? We'll have a sub??? WHY? Why is this happening to MEEEEEE???????

THE END

~~~

And you wonder why they never finish checking your papers. That's because they all have to attend these meetings!