post number two hundred and ninety nine

yeah, one more to go. yay.

i was just reading my old posts, from the very first posts here on my blogger blog. man, i was so emo. wait, excerpt:

"Today was our AJSS graduation. As much as I want to celebrate that I no longer have to go to school every single day during my summer vacation, I have yet to wait for the fact, that I will no longer be seeing my new friends, sink in. I'm like that. Will I cry? I will still have to find out. It feels terrible though, especially as I rode the tricycle home, knowing it would be the last time (except if I do go to Ateneo in college, where hopefully, I will meet all the AJSS-ers again). As I was in the LRT with my mom and my sister, reading all the notes in my envelope, I realize that it would be a long long time again before I get to commute back and forth to Ateneo everyday. As I type now, the fact has almost sunk in halfway. I read all your notes, and I feel sorry that I didn't get to know each and every one of you personally. I hate myself for that. (To quote Toni: I hate me! :P) In two weeks, I will be going back to SSHS. And I have a new goal. I want to be as close as I can be to every single one of my classmates. I no longer want to be that shy lonely girl sitting in a corner, all alone. But how do I do this? I don't know yet, but I will try, although that would be quite hard, considering the fact that I think I am naturally shy.... "I think"."
-May 27, 2006. (when my blog was still http://charmaineyv.blogspot.com)

See? emo much? not that we called that "emo" back then. so i couldn't diagnose myself with emoness when i wrote that. yuck. i hate it. i hate being depressed. i'm actually being all depressed now, but you know, i'm trying to shake it off. it's like everything the other way around. i used to be depressed when i was at home, but now, i'm depressed at school. emooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i hate that word. i shall never use that word in my blog ever again and if i do have to i'd replace it with "bunnies!" so that i'll be forced to think of bunnies and not bunnies!-ness.

get me? :D

so guys, help me! catch me in the act of using the word on my blog. i'll like, punish myself or something. i don't know yet.

anyway more about the excerpt.

so like, i said there that i hated myself for being shy and all. i did. i still do. but i'm less shy now, and i guess it worked. all throughout 4th year, i did my best to be all happy and chipper and talk to everyone. and it worked. still shy, yeah, but so much better. although i still have bunnies! tendencies i'm less that and more happy... thanks guys. love!